why_am_i_here amy adaptability I have something to say which I haven’t quite said. I can’t get followers on social media- it might be because I don’t have seed followers from college or wherever. I was too crazy to tolerate snootiness of go-getters, or spouses of go-getters. I was already 95% rejected by life. (Kills Self) if i made a blog (which I have) nobody would read it. I still have something to say that’s worth getting across. I’m still trying to figure out which way, in life, is the best way to say it. The only people, my family, who listen to me, in life, are not really mature enough to hear it, so I keep looking and pretending i’ve found it. wispy shit, I guess. 180615 ... amy adaptability any guru ( which i'm not ) doesn't particularly like his or her individual followers. He (or she) just loves to be loved. This is not love. It's friendship, a more considerate thing, but when i'm shunned, i gotta go. because, in this situation, that's enmity, if you're honest. although i go back to the same old people i been with my entire life, (who are fine), and then the pretend people on the fantabulous i'net. do you really feel like i could get followers for a blog if i put sincere effort into it? or would they only say, "who's this crazy chick? nobody follows her so i won't either..." not to be overbearing or controlling, but i'm trying to be honest with myself and good to myself and other people, who have needs, in a real way. i feel like apologizing never gets me to such a place with water_signs. but a fire_sign can't fool themselves, or they will be a jerk, idiot, worse. anyway i'm trying to shut up until i compose what i wanted to say about that terrorizing thing (which i've spent some time already hammering out) the downside to the dharma talk was the preachiness. the much bigger upside was the thought. i mean, i've seen that Sag preachiness before. they are long gone before you even say boo. the lay of the land when they are the guru and you are the listener. 180615 ... raze everyone's always had their own reasons for being here. it took me a long time to figure out what drew me in, and why i've stayed. i'm trying to write the autobiography of my soul. and i want to read yours. 230803 what's it to you? who go blather from