tinnitus epitome of incomprehensibility When I say I have a constant "ringing" in my ear, this gets me a "poor you" sometimes, but it's not terrible - it's like the sound a fridge makes, a high but soft hum. Just a slight malformation of the tiny hairs in the inner ear will do that. Also blood pressure issues, etc., but I assume mine is because of something I was born with. Maybe an anatomical irregularity in the inner ear, or in or the nerves around it. I've had it for as long I can remember, and my dad the same. (Yay, genetics.) I remember asking my parents, when I was about six, in the middle of a quiet country road, why it sounded like there was a fridge around. When I was about ten, I got my hearing tested at a clinic. The people in the waiting room were mostly grey-haired. For the test, I sat in a soundproof room and a woman on the other side pressed notes on a keyboard. Lower and higher pitches. I had to signal if I heard them. This was weirdly enjoyable, and I recall being tempted to answer "perfect fifth" at one point. Ear training lesson. Piano. I had piano lessons then. My ear specialized in a whiny, indeterminate fridge sound. (My hearing was normal, but the doctor advised me not to wear headphones too often, as that could make the ringing sound worse and affect my hearing. Tonight I was listening to YouTube with headphones and eating a tempting piece of cake. A sliver of self-destruction instead of an apple from the Tree of Sensible.) 251119 ... e_o_i edit: I meant listening to music with headphones, not merely having them on my head. 251119 ... ovenbird Noise took away all future possibilities of silence. At the age of 13 I attended a video dance that was so dangerously loud it damaged my hearing irreparably. I imagine a storm of sound, a hurricane, an invisible roar snapping the stalks of my cilia, leaving them to misfire so that I will forever hear the echo of destruction–a high pitched whine mixed with distant bells that make themselves known in rare instances of quiet. I try to protect what’s left. I am a dedicated conservationist when it comes to protecting the natural aural landscape. I had custom musician’s earplugs made in an attempt to preserve what is not already ravaged but there is no reversing the damage done. So now, every night when I press my ear to my pillow, I am greeted by a tiny cacophony, the future ringing my funerary bells, a banshee’s scream carrying over the moors, a wail of grief that lives inside my body every second of every single day. 251120 ... nr i find it somewhat of a miracle that i don't have this, considering how many concerts i went to over the years that left my ears ringing the next day, and how many loud drums i have played. earplugs or noise-cancelling headphones are now non-negotiable for any loudness that occurs. 251120 what's it to you? who go blather from