the_train kerry lately i think so much about the train. for the past year or so i've taken it nearly every day and usually it is the same tedium--everyone avoiding eye contact, everyone on their phone, the hoarse robo-woman announcing the next stop, the overwhelming stink of urine. and then there are things that stand out more, both good and bad. one of them is the_guy_from_the_train. another--i usually stand on the train because i spend so much time sitting but the other day my feet ached and i sat with my purse in my lap and i noticed a woman sitting across from me with a sketchbook and some charcoal or maybe a crayon, her hand fluttering over the pages, her eyelashes fluttering up at me. looking at me, looking down, hand sweeping and darting over the paper. there was another guy from the train. i noticed him as i was leaving the grocery store walking down broad to the ellsworth-federal station. he was walking maybe fifteen feet behind me. he was muttering and kind of half-singing and moving in a jerky kind of way and i didn't like the look of him. i didn't like how it felt to be in sync with him. i stopped and pretended to use my phone and he passed me by. then a block later i was going down the steps to the station and he was standing there between two of the staircases, kind of lingering in the corner, not really looking at me but i couldn't tell where he was looking and i thought why stop there, why? i skipped down the steps past him. after i rounded the corner towards the turnstiles i realized he was behind me. he got on the same car as me. he was sitting again not too far away from me. i kept thinking i'm the asshole, i'm assuming some random stranger is paying attention to me when actually there's just this north-south line and plenty of stops until the end and odds are he's just going somewhere, just like me? but he kept looking at me. so at the lombard-south station i darted out of the train car and into the next one. and at my station i went to the SE exit instead of the NW exit which is the one i prefer. and the whole walk home i kept looking over my shoulder and thinking god it's been a long day that i'm this paranoid. but i'll never know for sure. 221214 what's it to you? who go blather from