lingering unhinged you said to me 'cant you just let it go?' four_months_later i remember the oddest random things. and then i have to go find your dogs hairs on a sweater i recently pulled out to wear again in that many months. we were a good team. i miss that. 140928 ... unhinged i still think of you every day but the thought that i should apologize, try again, speak to you has diminished 141223 ... unhinged and then my mother almost died, and you were one of the first people my heart wanted to reach out to, one of the first people i wanted to check in on, to make sure you were ok. my_sweet_erasable_you you are not. and after all this time, the logical part of me wishes i could finally let go. or at least understand what keeps my heart tied to you. but logic and feelings have never mixed for me, of that i was already aware when you asked me why i couldn't just 'let it go' and stay friends. let what go? why? i have learned in the past year that i am not as selfless as i wish to be, but that is ok because i am human. that i need to be more forward with my wants and needs. but that doesn't mean that my habit of silence just disappears. why tell someone what i need when they are not willing to give? he said it wasn't fair of me to be upset when i never told him what i wanted. which is true. but...he basically said his goals were more important to him, which i figured out without a conversation. the conversation we did have did not change what he was willing to give or that his level involvement was not making me happy. the silent ones are always watching 150120 what's it to you? who go blather from