the_last_time_i_saw_you raze you were in the checkout line. i think it was at the future shop, before they closed and reopened as a best buy. i was wearing glasses without prescription lenses. the big round silver frames i never wear anymore because they always hurt my ears. "what's this?" you said. "just getting ready for a night out with the lads," i said. i tried to sound like one of the_beatles. "don't you mean the *labs*?" because my long hair made me look like a dog. right. you got closer and tucked some hair behind my ear. my right ear. i remember that. your face did something strange. i think it was supposed to be a smile, but it came out looking awkward and a little sad. you kissed me on the cheek. my right cheek. when i was in the car with my dad, i said, "that was weird. how she did that." "your mom might be an idiot," he said, "but she loves you." and maybe you did. but you couldn't show me. and i couldn't see it. i looked until my eyes gave out. it wasn't there. sometimes i still look for things i know i won't find. i can't help it. 210929 what's it to you? who go blather from