mary_margaret raze she liked the piece of the thing taken out of context of its larger, not-yet-finished self. the duet for eighty eight strings and four. i called it some sort of broken little winter lullaby. she called it "no way broken, with the sweetest wings ever". she sings even when she isn't singing. what a beauty. 170112 ... raze her music found me in a dream. the song wasn't something the dream invented. it was a song that already exists in the waking world. the song led me to a house, long and white and heavy with history. i couldn't pinpoint the source of the sound. it was coming from somewhere to the right when i stood with my back to the house. it was too clear to be coming from the inside of a parked car, but nothing else made sense. i sang along. "there is but one life but one life won't do all in good time my world goes to smash too" i hadn't warmed up my voice. i could feel the strain. i could hear it too. i dropped down an octave and sang the chorus with her. "when you know why you're happy when you know why you're happy when you know" a woman who wasn't her stepped out onto the front porch of the house. she gave me a smile that said she knew me and she thought she knew what i was up to. that put her two steps ahead of me, because i didn't know her and i didn't know why i was standing outside of her house. she stood beside me and went on smiling while i wept through my singing, thinking it had to mean something, walking into this song, this piece of beauty no one i knew would ever know to listen to as a way to find me, but the meaning wouldn't come clear. 210916 ... raze today is her birthday. the phone didn't ring when i called her. i thought maybe i dialled the wrong number. after six seconds of silence, i heard her say, "easter bunnies." and i thought, "that's so perfect. that's so her." i left my message after the beep. 230707 ... raze i saw her in my sleep last night. i wonder how she's doing. 231205 what's it to you? who go blather from