tumultous Soma Still not sure if that's the right spelling. Still not sure how I feel about changes. Still not sure if I want to straighten my hair. Still unsure if I'm getting enough protein. Still don't know what to do for a job. Still don't know where I'm going to live. Still wish I had some junk food. Still vegetarian. Still swat at gnats. Still not dating anyone. Still not sure what dating even means. Still ghosting people on Tinder. Still cry when I'm happy. Still don't know if I'm gay. Still worried she told them all I'm not. Still won't pick a side. Still afraid of being different. Still proudly a weirdo. Still sleep with a stuffed rabbit. Still regret the stuffed squirrel. Still use blankets as pillows. Still chasing darkness. Still reading books. Still prefer tea over coffee. Still drink coffee for show. Still hung up on the past. Still care about the environment. Still use plastic straws. Still use microwaves. Still use plastic bags. Still want the best for others. Still don't believe in God. Still miss Lisa. Still wonder if she misses me. Still don't listen to the Cranberries. Still taking medicine. Still living out west. Still afraid of biking. Still miss the rushing breeze. Still love sleeping on the ground. Still sleeping on couches. Still make faces in mirrors. Still 200lbs. Still eat like I'm in danger. Still not actually in danger. Still talking in therapy. Still sad when it rains. Still dream of living where it's sunny. Still hiding out in blather. Still writing in prose. Still writing. Still surviving. 241007 what's it to you? who go blather from