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epitome of incomprehensibility
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...and I'm climbing around the walls of a room, searching for Joker. As I investigate the corners of the ceiling, I wonder which superhero might help me. I rule out Iron Man, since his idea would be to become the CEO of a multinational corporation and leverage that power to track Joker down, and this seems to me like overkill.
I'm living in a large, lonely house. My name is still Selina, but I'm also the older adopted sister of Rachel, Batman's girlfriend. Our parents ignore me. Rachel's their favourite - at around eighteen or twenty she's already a highly-paid detective. It helps that she looks like Nancy Drew.
I look like myself. I'm wearing faded yellow corduroy pants, a green T-shirt, and childish cat ears. I reflect that I'm probably in a low-budget movie. Also, I don't get the sexy-but-impractical outfit because I'm not Halle Berry. Cats can't fly, but I can fly a little. It isn't enough to get me out of this lonely house, though, because I'm supposed to help Rachel with her detective work. For free.
When Batman comes over to visit, he pesters me instead of flirting. He lets loose his greyhounds - which are black, like all of his various props and appliances - and the dogs try to bite my heels, so I fly up to the ceiling and tread air. Fortunately, Rachel comes by and they go off together.
When I'm alone in the house (I have no idea where my adoptive parents are), I finally see Joker hiding behind a bureau. He has Heath Ledger's cracking face makeup from The Dark Knight, and it occurs to me I might consider being scared of him, until he lets out a cartoonish cackle. His plan, he says, is to steal some cylinders that are hidden here.
Why? I ask a little impatiently. Do they contain high-grade uranium, for instance?
No, says the Joker a little surprised. They're just shapes. And I just want to steal them.
Then I tell them he's an annoying villain (almost as annoying as Batman, I think) and he shouldn't steal things for the sake of stealing things, because that's silly.
Briefly, I think about the audience. If children are watching this, should the Joker learn his lesson? Should I be serious and share my relief that he didn't kill Rachel, a possibility that had been haunting the back of my mind, or should I take the caustic route and inform him that he would be more interesting if he were more evil?
(And it ends on that ambiguous note because I was awoken by the sound of wind.)
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