dumb_puns luck is green if chomsky mapped a dwarf's DNA structure, we'd have noam's gnome genome 020207 ... birdmad only if a fugitive midget psychic was a small medium at large 020207 ... the atomic weight of chiidi Two atoms are walking down the street and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I'm positive! 020207 ... luck is green Found: batch of matchboxes depicting boxing matches between well matched boxers. 020508 ... i am jacks fear of nuclear physics a neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer, finishes his beer and reaches for his wallet, bartender waves away the money and smiles ... "for you," he says, "...no charge" 020508 ... kill rhythm me: dude, dont come near me, i think i smell from practice jon: yeah like mustard me: riiiight jon: yeah that must be why you attract all the hot dogs 020508 ... lake of the west A guy walks into a bar holding a piece of asphalt. He says, "I'll take one for me and one for the road." 020508 ... ( ... ) free tibet with every purchase (while supplies last) 020902 ... flux having hard time getting that philosophy paper to come out? try metametamucil. 080624 ... jane did you hear about the guy who got his whole left side cut off? he's all right now. 080624 ... unhinged puns make me cringe just cringed 080624 ... the laughing ascetic The Buddha walks up to a hot dog cart and says to the proprietor: "Make me one with everything" 080624 ... flux there's an unexpected number of puns in the old_testament (mostly related to names, mostly place names). perhaps this explains jews penchant for them... 140727 ... flowerock I love dumb puns! did you hear about the little cookie who went to the hospital? he was feeling crumby. 140728 ... flowerock uh uh! take that shit back into the closet! never shoulda came outtah it! (when dramatically aruing with a gay individual) or less dramatic why don't we just put that back in the closet honey. take it to the closet. I work with and near a lot drama queens of varrying gender preference. and I live in a closet right now. this may not be a pun... but close enough. 140729 ... epitome of incomprehensibility ...So a boy goes up to his mother and says, "Mom, could you give me $10 to go to this concert, and maybe you can drive me, and if you have any of that pie left, maybe..." The mother shakes her head and says wisely, "Son, have I ever told you not to put all your begs in one ask-it?" (Punchline not original to me, though I think I made up the little scenario.) 140729 ... e_o_i has no idea where this came from The Zen philosopher said, "Be." The existentialist said, "Do." The jazz singer looked at them both, took a deep breath, and went, "Doo-be-doo-be-doo." 140729 ... flux vasconic sections? 140819 ... flux theoretical veterinarians assume the sphere is a horse 140819 what's it to you? who go blather from