holes belly fire last night I laid awake staring at the holes in the walls - counting the little blue anchors so many nights I have lain awake staring at the knicks from thumbtacks, the uneven paint jobs over uneven paint jobs, the patterns of colour in my dozens of neatly folded tshirts, the clusters of stucco on the ceiling...contemplating my days and my life a million thoughts and thousands of dreams have been conjured here tonight I stare around an empty room...walls full of holes my haven - it felt like mine I have torn out and sorted its contents, placed them in neat piles outside the door I am set to leave this place I have not left you no, not you 031021 ... .nom memories: bits and pieces, full of holes 050124 ... kerry i am as porous as a sponge, as leaky as a colander two holes on each side of my head that are called ears but so often feel cavernous, too open, i put my hands over them still sometimes some noise--the wrong kind--seeps in and lights a spark. fish bones, soft, pliable but full of holes i am an old sweater "an interesting case study" she said, and i nearly ran from the room when i lived in the valley the sky was black and covered in little pinpricks of light, and the dark was thick and i could hide in it but now i teeter down the sidewalk on stilts fizzing and sizzling leaving behind little bits of bone and brain like a trail of crumbs i cannot decide if i want to be found 210803 what's it to you? who go blather from