feigned unhinged now scientists have added a third component fight flight freeze that one freeze i don't like to fight avoidant but i don't really like to run either my lower limbs become heavy my face and mind become blank (my father was a screamer when that wrath was pointed at me i literally couldn't answer his questions my tongue would get so thick it couldn't form words he would yell more my tongue would barely be able to guide the saliva down my throat the best i could do shake my head and he would banish me to my room the fear of being hit that was the truth of it he thought i didn't care enough to respond but it was really just fear activating the freeze response the way many little mammals do when they know a predator is looming) i retreat deep inside rejection reinforced maybe my eyes are broadcasting: keep your true heart hidden frozen sometimes the lessons_learned from my early days in that incubator feel hard win (i don't need anyone but myself i am the only one that i can count on) but_then the skin_hunger defrosts my frozen hidden heart at just the wrong time with just the wrong people so i posture i am smart i am funny i am friendly no threat here 211107 what's it to you? who go blather from