soia I guess I'm feeling "better"
it doesn't occupy 999/1000 of my thoughts today
I find myself lecturing myself everywhere I go
"you have to let this happen"
"you know things weren't going well"
"you did something horrible, but you need to figure out how to fix yourself, not hate yourself"
and I realize that even though I may have never considered getting a lot of the things I have if it weren't for him, it's not because I don't like those things, i just didn't know about them, so I should be thankful
and I try not to keep punishing myself
I know we both need to figure out how to get better
and I know that while I'm crying every night since we've been "apart", he was crying while we were still together, and so it's obvious something had to be done
this is hard. this hurts.
belly fire don't let them tell you
your secrets are worth keeping
the only words you'll ever regret
are the ones you didn't say
claire For better or for worse. 040713
nom i'm feeling a lot better 060423
Q better scared than sorry 060719
nom i'm feeling a lot better 060817
dries&hardens is so relative
and does not properly describe my outright elation
it really does it no justice at all

elation, too, is only a somewhat better description
it's really all very relative
is che better 080604
epitome of incomprehensibility Suddenly I'm feeling better, health-wise. I don't know how it happened. I hope it lasts. It's rather annoying to spend the first five minutes of each day coughing up phlegm instead of daydreaming up improbable goals. "Productive" cough, ha. I guess the spit is just as productive as the planning... which reminds me to get back to my callous hyphen-catching, while hoping I'm getting incrementally better at being useful to people while remaining artistically active. Better, better at. Bitter butter batter. 141021
e_o_i Not really. I had a bit of a fever again and I couldn't sleep.

But I stayed in bed until noon, just resting, and then I was able to get to work: finally I got the damn Caribbean travel editing thing done, and before I had to tutor.
gja thinks that better is relative 170321
what's it to you?
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