validation nr she suggested i ask myself why i am drawn to people who are so nice, to the point where i stress the point of how nice they are. i was confused at first, because why would i be drawn to people who aren't nice? but she clarified noticing that i specifically refer to people being uniquely kind, considerate, good listeners... people who will notice and take care and validate and foster dependence. 240525 ... nr watching baby_reindeer and subsequent reddit threads about causes of the need for care and validation is hitting me hard. any kind of neglect or unfair expectations or judgment in formative years to make one feel like they're not enough is just... more capable of future damage than i'd realized. 240525 ... raze i've spent a good chunk of my life searching for this in other people, and not always choosing those people wisely — though in most cases it was impossible to know that until it was too late, with so many folks being time-release capsules with legs. it's hard trying to find what you feel is missing when the places you look for it sometimes only serve to reinforce its absence. i think i'm getting better at giving this kind of support to myself, but it'll probably always be a bit of a struggle. what you say about the wounds made during our formative years and their lasting effects is ... yeah. i feel that, and then some. you do get lucky sometimes and form enduring friendships with people who make you feel that what you have to say has value, and you're enough just as you are. thank you for being one of those people for me. it means more than i could ever tell you. 240525 ... nr come on, raze, don't be an enabler! just kidding. i'm glad for this, and thank you in return for the same. i guess figuring it out and naming it an important step. the hard one is figuring how how to get past it. 240525 ... nr *is an important step 240525 what's it to you? who go blather from