secret_love_letters_written_in_orange Anna_Began I am surprised I still even react. Maybe it was the tone of her voice when she phoned and said "I don't want to alarm you," which always alarms everyone, but my heart still jumped a little. Not because I worried about dirty bombs or planes or whatever else the media sticks on the end of the hook for us but because nothing short of nuclear warfare will keep me from my destination this weekend. So the minor threat of nuclear warfare of course, alarms me. What settled into my brain, my dear, after seconds of letting the apathy drift back over me, was the way in which I accepted the world crumbling around our physical proximity. I sat on the wooden slatted train with the breeze rippling my red skirt and realized I could die in your arms. I pictured your arms as they were; strong yet emollient, a cocoon, a perfect fit for me, the girl that never fits anywhere. Your arms around me would be enough. And it's nearly scary when you accept perfection again and again over such a short time, but really it's just giving thanks. I told him that night I could have hurt you, "If I died right now, it would be with no regret. There are things I still want to do, but nothing I regret not doing to date." Each hour that brings me closer to you now, I see where I am headed. I understand your words; my heart is even more important than that. This is what keeps me safe in the citrus colored world: holding her again once the fingerprints are processed, Mudhens, and the softness of your lips on mine. 030520 what's it to you? who go blather from