scrotum raze slapping_a_teacher isn't something i can claim to have done in my formative years. but a teacher did step on my manhood once. every year before summer vacation, my grade school held a sort of single-day decathlon. it had everything from potato sack races and obstacle courses to more cerebral activities like puzzles and interactive games. there was something for everyone. even ice cream and a raffle at the end of the day for any student who might not have won a prize. each teacher was in charge of an event. some took place outside. some were set up in classrooms. one year i was in a group of kids sitting cross-legged on the grass while mr. janisse paced and explained the task at hand. he was one of my favourite teachers. in the third grade, he led us in a debate about the family allowance. my mom called it the baby bonus. mr. janisse explained its history and purpose. he told us brian mulroney's government planned to get rid of it. then he invited us to share our thoughts. he treated us as intellectual equals. we responded with an energy we didn't know was ours to give. i still have a report card somewhere with these words in his hand: "john has shown great sparks of intelligence. when he speaks, the other children listen." the first time i read that, i felt something i couldn't name. the day he stepped on my scrotum, he made the mistake of walking backwards. i was in his way. i tried to slide to the side. there wasn't enough time. all of his weight came down on the softest part of me. one foot did all the damage. he fell on his ass and i scurried away like the wounded animal i was. he didn't chastise me. he didn't apologize. he just got up and glared while i tried to ignore the burning in my balls. 240914 what's it to you? who go blather from