retirees tender_square was our pace one of consistent declining activity? how is it that we were in our late thirties and our life constituted making meals, running errands, going for walks and not much more. i never liked that you didn't work. i was tired of keeping that a secret from my family, and your family, and my friends. and while i always appreciated your generosity, how i didn't have to work either if i chose to because you had more than enough, there was nothing we were focused on together to mark the passage of time. we disliked travel and already did enough of it with yearly trips to see your folks. anything we took for pleasure was nearby and typically resorted in us coming home early. as sober, quiet people, what else were we supposed to do? we weren't chasing novelty but we weren't chasing anything. the security of that money took the edge off of trying. i'm amazed you were able to write in those conditions. you didn't like it when we had a dog, something to spend the years growing with us, and so we gave it back after three months. we moved into a house that didn't have projects for us to take on together, to make our home through concerted effort. we never had people over or found hobbies. and yeah, some of that was the result of covid, but a lot of that was us pre-pandemic. we mostly talked ourselves out of doing any activity that seemed like too much work to participate. you kept to bed. we didn't have sex. and while i could have been very comfortable in this life, i wasn't. we skipped three decades and i wasn't ready for that kind of settling down. i don't want the fuss of around-the-world adventures, or cataloging a fomo life on social media for others to envy. but i wanted date nights. i wanted to try a class of something we'd both be terrible in just so we'd have something to laugh about. i wanted a social life together. i wanted to rekindle love. 230324 what's it to you? who go blather from