i_searched_my_notes_for_the_word_blood warmthofrelease piddling and peddling middling and meddling sitting and sulking and settling haven't looked in forever but I know that I'm never forgetting what I sold to the reaper: the bruises from my teachers breadcrumbs of a deceiver and an auctioned bloodletting (September 2025, just a few days ago) I do think that some people need to feel challenged, and that they will look to challenge themselves constantly if a challenge hasn't naturally presented itself and/or if they don't feel properly engaged or stimulated or helpful or purposeful or dominant or bloodlust-quenched or whatever motivates that urge. And that a problem is just a challenge with a negative association. But there are also definitely people who just want everything to be easy all the time. And perhaps that's much more boring by comparison, but neither type of person is more or less likely to feel bored or unsatisfied. No matter what their standards or interests are. (December 2018) sorry if I was hard and cold as a fighter even though I know I behaved more like a writer I was finding the world I put myself in the center sorry_I_locked_myself away for the winter I was trying to learn... how to love... the taste... ...of my own blood (December 2016) (The Cause) if it's the blood of a lion or the blood of a swan it all measures the same anyone who ever felt like they had nothing to lose could probably use a change of attitude has probably got_a_whole_lot_of_growing_up_to_do (February 2020) "No No! Noo, you've got that 'always bloodthirsty' thing going on for ya you got that relentlessness that_means_somethin" (September 2015) 250914 what's it to you? who go blather from