grumpy_bear jennifer Does anyone know the story of Grumpy Bear? Basically, when the Carebears met him, they did everything they could to make him happy. But, the thing is, Grumpy Bear was happy being grumpy. His friends had to accept that being grumpy made him who he was. He makes me think that he looks down on me because I don't keep a good house. And, to a certain extent, he does. But I'm doing one hell of a better job than I was a year ago. And I'm working on it, I really am. It's just one of many things in my life I'm trying to put together. It's just fuel to the fire that I'm not worthy of him, though he says it's the only thing that he has a qualm about. Then there are things that amaze me. He wanted to spend time with me. He wanted to spend time WITH ME. That has never happened to me. I've always been the one that wanted to spend time with someone, and they merely obliged. This one wants to spend time with me. "Aren't you afraid that I'll get fat again?"//"You just don't get what I'm all a-boot, yet, do you?" He still makes me cry so very much. I cry when he tells me what he likes about me, I cry when he cleans for me, and I sometimes cry just at the thought of him. Is this love? Can I relax yet? Please? I want to let my gaurd down and feel all I have for him. But I'm still waiting. I'm waiting for him to give up. For him to find someone better. For me to become intolerable. For something. I don't deserve something this good. I'm not a good enough person. In the words of Social D and Sir's would-be tattoo: "how can someone's bad luck last so long?"... but I see it more as how long does good luck stick around anyway? 051025 what's it to you? who go blather from