enneagram tender_square i swear i was a two. could the results change depending on where you were at a particular moment? truity's slice of pie said 1, the perfectionist, right as my therapist pegged. i want to deny it: i'm not that rigid. i'm not that exacting in my approach to life. if the whole classification doesn't fit, isn't there room to wiggle out of it? "i'd rather be a 1 than be a 2," he argued. "because the 2's are so wrapped up in how others need them, and if you don't give them what they want they don't care about you." he wondered if the external world had become threatening to me, if that's why i donned "armor" to greet the day, as i put it. i had texted something of the sort to amanda not long before my session. "is this what adulthood is, worrying about every little thing?" and even though my vocation has never been law or the armed services as predicted by this quiz, there is a militaristic precision to the way i dress in tailored pants and blazers. the control doesn't have an external locus, it's the self. 230313 ... nr i think they can change. i just scored as a 4, with 5 as a close second, and then a tie for 2 and 7 as close thirds. i remember my old therapist telling me about enneagram, and i asked what he'd think i'd be, and he said 4. he might have said 6 too, or another number, but 4 was at the forefront (fourfront?) and the one i remember. once a weirdo, always a weirdo, i guess. 230313 ... tender_square he wondered if under stress we had become worse versions of ourselves. given all the chaos and uncertainty, it made sense: he closed off to the external world and dove deep within, and i was mired in practicalities and rationality. in an effort to make sense of the situation, to find a semblance of control, he worried excessively, preparing for all possible outcomes, while i restrained the environment by organizing and regimenting time. these tactics created the illusion of safety as our marriage was bottoming out. now that the restrictive roles have been shed, we've back to our respective numbers of balance. 230331 what's it to you? who go blather from