empathic ovenbird Last night she cried because there was no way for everyone to be happy. “I tried and tried to be so kind!” she said, “but she was still mad at me. It feels like there’s no point trying. No matter what I do she’s upset. I want her to be happy. It makes me happy to make her happy. But I feel like I can’t choose my own happiness. If I choose my own happiness she gets mad at me and then her anger takes away my happiness. So I can’t be happy no matter what.” The things that emanate from her ten year old brain astound me. There’s so much complexity, so much emotional depth. She feels her way through the world and I am afraid for her because I know what that’s like. I still grapple with this: how to make yourself a priority, how to understand that you can’t always be responsible for other people’s feelings, how to truly believe that your needs matter too and that self sacrifice is not the way to a sustainable life. I held her in my arms while she sobbed. She believes that kindness should always be met with kindness. The world would be a far more tolerable place if that were true in practice. How do I tell her that her empathy will not always be answered in kind? How do I help her turn the power of her empathy on herself so that she can be her own ally? I want her to see her own value so no one can take advantage of her heart. If only I could go back in time and do the same for myself. 260829 what's it to you? who go blather from