blood_red_tearing_down_the_wall once again "I love you. I fucking love you" And you can't hear anything else he is saying because those words have erased anything he might have said before or after. They're beating in your head, like a racing pulse, like a migraine. You can't be aware of anything else. You've waited weeks and months and years for those words from that boy. And you can't speak and you can't think. And so you go to see him. and again. and again. and it's good, but the feeling that he lied, or he meant something else, lives in every thought and colors every word you hear. You can't think about this properly anymore, because one part of you keeps hearing those words, those words you've wanted and waited and hoped for, but never believed possible. And you've heard them and part of you still believes those words from that boy about you are impossible. But you have to act as if they're real. You can't do anything else, the chance is to much to pass up. So you break rules that you've held for years. Every rule you've made for hiding and covering over the way you feel about him, you break it. You show him what he means to you and you tell him that you've loved him for five years now and have been waiting, hopelessly hopeful. And two things can happen now. You can find out he meant something else, he misspoke, or just plain lied. Or you could find out that he meant it, that he loves you and that you never have to be afraid again. But from now on, he will know how much he means to you and even if the words weren't real, yours were and you have to wonder if you're strong enough to put back the barrier you tore down so willingly. 080707 what's it to you? who go blather from