hopeful Soma My mom has always said terrible things about anyone gay. About anyone trans. Anyone who falls into the category of people I’ve loved and called family as an adult 5000 miles away from the woman who birthed me. She’s looked me in the eye and said things while unknowing the truth of who she speaks to. “Would she twist the knife so cruelly if she knew,” I wonder. Yesterday, while discussing world news, my mom expressed disgust at how people treat each other. As part of this, she made a very sweet comment about trans individuals, and their right to exist, to live, and to be treated with kindness. My mother has said really vile things in the past about trans individuals specifically. She will never hear me utter the name of, or meet, my lover of five years as a result. So this time, to hear her very strongly expressed words in relation to how “even trans people” should be treated empathetic really, really pleasantly surprised me. I still don’t think I’ll ever be out to her. I still don’t think she’s someone my family is safe around. But damnit all, it made me feel hopeful for more change. Maybe she’s not a complete monster. What a bastard of a feeling to bask in, but fear to feel. After we chatted, I just cried. Maybe one day, I think. Maybe one day. 231014 what's it to you? who go blather from