autodefenestration raze the night gillian showed up wearing angel wings to drive me where i needed to go, i listened to the tape you gave me and latched onto "st. andrew's fall". i picked out a part near the end and burned what i could of it into my bruised brain. when you came to meet me, i slid a shitty pickup into the toothless mouth of the guitar jesse kept leaving at my house, plugged into the only amp i owned, and sang: "i can't tell you how many ways that i've sat and viewed my life today, but i can tell you i don't think that i can find an easier way." i forgot the part about walking hand in hand with a three-armed man. i didn't know until you told me that the song was about a woman who threw herself out of a window while the band watched, powerless to intervene. then i thought i understood why it moved me. i would have jumped the same way she did, with or without an audience, but i took too long trying to find a softer place to fall. the man who wrote those words has been dead for almost as long as i've been alive now. sometimes i sit with his ghost. he doesn't say much. i think he just appreciates being seen. he's a lot like me that way. 250507 what's it to you? who go blather from