self_harmer sappho no scars on me, no sign of the pain, it's funny how even my closest can't tell i haven't slept or eaten in days. too guilty to eat, too guilty to sleep, too delirious to face the world, i need my solitude, so i deny myself that too. people stare at me - my hair? my red shirt? (to warn them off) arms folded into my stomach so i don't feel so empty. mustn't lift my head or i'll fall, better watch my step. look into my eyes filled with tears and i dare you to think me weak. i dare you to think me cruel. i dare you to think i don't care. but people like me are the worst - try to be good and when you fail, the only ones you hurt are the ones who trust you most, the ones you care for most. the apathetic crowd pass by. in three thoughtless seconds i did all the damage i hadn't done for three years, a hammer blow narrowed to a needle, focused for full effect, set to kill, not stun. fix you? fix me... resolutions i'll take and break - no food, no sleep, no drink - efforts i'll make, because even if i'm the worse for it, even though i'll fail, i have to try. 050617 what's it to you? who go blather from