marionette raze in my dream, you were walking away from me. you wouldn't look at me. i kept trying to touch you, trying to grab your hands, your arms, anything to make you look at me. i pressed myself against you, hugging you from behind as we walked, but you didn't try to push me away. we ended up in some seedy bar. you looked at me before i went to the bathroom. i registered something resembling affection. when i came back out to look for you, a group of patrons [three? four?] came at me. you told them to kill me. you screamed at me. "i hate you! i hope they fucking kill you!" you laughed & enjoyed whatever you were drinking at the bar, watching. it looked like you were smiling. i don't even think i tried to fend them off. i remember screaming "i love you!" repeatedly, trying to make eye contact, trying to make sense of what you were doing. chairs & bottles & glass & floor. at least i don't run away in my dreams anymore. 030824 ... megan you can't control me i swear you can't no one can really no really 050303 what's it to you? who go blather from