i_told_myself nom) i wasn't going to do this anymore 050811 ... pete it all faded, as if a dream living in the blurred past with memories of smoke and drink just a haze nothing happened it didn't happen and that means what came after could never have existed from the sharp crimson of dusk to the faded dreams of blather red 050811 ... Sonya I told myself almost 3 monthes ago that by now I had hoped I wouldn't be seething angry at you. And it looks like it's actually starting to come true. I wish more than anything that we had met in another time and in another place and then things would have turned out so much differently. I wonder sometimes what it would be like if I ran into you 5 or 6 years down the road. Would I have my hair bulled back in a bun and be wearing an office suit? Would you be carrying a briefcase and have a slight mustache? More wrinkles? More stories to tell me? I still love you. I think a part of me will always love you. It hurts to realize what could have been... but for you the timing was all wrong. I was always ready... I think always have been and maybe that's strange, or maybe it's because I'm female. I still miss you. Take care. I will remember you as pookie. 050811 what's it to you? who go blather from