i_can_see_it bijou you used to know a thousand nice things you could say about me. sometimes you would hold my face in your hands and look at my eyes, like you wished you could kiss me but you held back. you looked so happy right then. you used to quietly worry about me, drinking too much, driving too far, being too damn nice all the time to everyone, especially you. i can see now. i see it exactly, i have given you too much. i flooded you with my love. and you washed away from me, into the arms of the people that don't see you, i know they can't really see you. because if they could, they wouldn't like you. i pushed us too far. i always knew i would. this is my fault, but it doesn't mean i don't think you're an asshole for it. anyone else would have stopped long ago. i can't belive it has been seven months already. it wasn't wasted, because i learned more than i had in the past two years. i have been reading over my own words tonight, and only now i am seeing that things have changed too much. you used to look at me much differently. i guess i saw you differently too. 020519 ... bijou your_undercovers_on 020519 ... birdmad and even though i know it means to hit me right_between_the_eyes i cannot think to turn away 020520 what's it to you? who go blather from