try
psychobabe Try so hard to hide
Try to keep it on the other side
cuz everythings dead within my mind
walking along the path
with nothing ahead to look at but darkness
running little thoughts
telling me what to do with my time
no, not this time
no you dont.
I did not believe that you could
sink so low
You think you have everything?
soooo lost in that state of mind
thoughts traveling miles on end
raceing fast, quickly, furiously
when will i see you again?
soon i'm hopeing and thinking.
Mind stops thinking. Heart controls all
Finally hidden within my mind
020121
...
sigh... silence 020731
...
endless desire is that enough?
are you satisfied?
if i "try" is your conscience clean?
it seems i am taking my frustration on the wrong words. the wrong people. the wrong times that i spent long go and feel i can remove by fighting with my keyboard.
030706
...
Mandy Trying to be the way you want even though you don't want me to. Too passive. More aggressive. Too mousy. More Mandy. 031214
...
DammitJanet I'm drowning in your insecurities.
Coming up for air is taking too much effort, too much strength, too much tolerance.
I've been handing you a security blanket, throwing it, shoving it, but you won't take hold.
Rather then wrap it around you to live in it's warmth, you hold it at arms length. Poking it, proding it, questioning it's holes, imperfections, thread.
You wonder where it's been, why it's stained and torn. You imagine such dillusional thoughts, absurd situations, crazy notions.
But it's been with me all along. I've carried it on my journey, dragging it behind me wherever i go. Handing it over to no one.
Except you.
Embrace it. Accept it. Wrap yourself within it.
Please.
Just try.
TRY.
Before i completely exhaust myself of our continuely repeating, circling, looping, relationship.
I'm begining to love you.
Feel secure in that. For once.
031215
what's it to you?
who go
blather
from