something_sweet raze the man who didn't make me though he tried to grind me down to nothing wants me to help him carry some things into this small store he seems to think is his. pallets and boxes of random shit. that's supposed to be my mother standing over there. it isn't anyone i know. the man who shares my simplified name smirks at me. he's got a pithy comeback for everything i say. tells me to set this box on top of the idiot. i don't see an iggy pop record anywhere. maybe he means me. he says something about someone making stairs out of stone. there aren't any of those around here. there's no need for them. walking in a straight line will take you anywhere you want to go. when we get back to where he parked the van, i can feel how much he wants to hit me. he twitches. tries to contain it. the same way his black hat hides his hairless head. there's no denying what he is. he gives into it. beats on me with both fists like i knew he would. when he's winding up to throw a goodnight punch, i pivot. send him tripping into traffic. a silver sedan opens the melon of his mind. nothing but red juice and pulp in there. we're all two pieces of hard candy fused together, filled with something sinful. except for him. he's just a stain that won't be scrubbed out. and my hands are as filthy as they've ever been. 240326 ... nr when we were lying next to each other and he was telling me something, he stopped mid-story to give me a quick kiss on the arm. it gave me a bit of hope that he inherently knew about, or agreed on, something that is weirdly_intimate. 251210 ... nr a couple times a year for the past few years, he has randomly texted me something like "this is just your regular reminder that you're the best!" 260115 what's it to you? who go blather from