loved_and_lonely leif I'm carving out my insides, and I'm nearly hollow now. They don't know because I still smile. 150810 ... gja Keep your insides stored carefully. Please. You may wish to put them back where they belong one day. PLUR. 150811 ... unhinged . it seems wrong, selfish to feel this way. i have new projects to distract me. a creative relationship doesn't fill all the holes, but it is better than nothing. 150811 ... leif selfish indeed. Rich and teeming with love. Yet, desolate. 150811 ... unhinged i read a book about the neuroscience of depression recently that said people with depression tend to be hypersensitive to the biofeedback of a 'negative' expression of others and use that as a reason to isolate themselves. i.e. as soon as the eyes start to see the corners of the other person's mouth twitch downward the brain perceives a frown which the depressed person translates into 'that person is upset with me'. which they then use as an excuse to stop talking to the other person. i did this so much when i was younger. i would stop talking to a friend over some perceived slight that was really just my depressed brain distorting things. moral of the story: i make myself lonely. on_the_other_hand finding quality companionship seems harder than it should be. 150827 what's it to you? who go blather from