i_shouldn't_be_like_this jinx I'm feeling small and overlooked- I'm constantly competing, comparing, and cracking down on myself. Nothing I do pleases me, and so it can't possibly please others. People tell me I'm ok to reassure me, but they seem so fake-they're acting funny and unusually nice. Thanks for the effort, but quit playing. Quit fucking with my head-it's fucked enough. You kissed my cheek, and you lied. This is what happens when you share how you really feel... People react in ways you didn't want them to. People get fake. People pretend to care and have fake conversations. People say they'll call (to share plastic words) and then they don't. I don't like to have my face touched, not even by lips-my skin doesn't deserve to be touched. And I don't like being lied to-I have nothing to say to you...it will be awkward and fake and plastic. Why waste your minutes and my breath? Just to play with my puppet heart... Take your hand out of my skin. I want control of me again. 030111 ... . " 030112 ... blown cherry this_is_no_good 030112 what's it to you? who go blather from