benign_neglect raze i don't know why i named her what i did. maybe for the sighing sound the word makes when it moves through my mouth. to feel that. to hear it anytime i want to. maybe for the friend who told me i had abandonment issues and then stopped talking to me without saying why. alice touches the twist of my ear with her tongue. this is her way of saying she sees me. i'm not sure how she gets outside. i think it happens when this door_to_door salesperson shows up to sell me a curtain that collapses each time she tries to hang it above the couch. she stops acting like a commercial come to life and starts beating herself up for not being any good at her job. i tell her it's all right. i can fix it. she slumps into a chair. she says things have been rough lately. that's when i look for alice. that's when i know she's gone. i walk out into the night. i see others like her. but not her. i call her name. i fire up my flashlight and shine it on the dirt path that leads to the nearest road. half expecting to find her mangled body. there's nothing. she's nowhere. i head back inside. i start to tell the curtain seller what's happened. she's on the phone. "sorry," she says. her sorry is for someone who isn't me. all my apologies are for alice. and she can't hear a thing i say. 241210 what's it to you? who go blather from