consciousness kyla "and in the word the dream is hid, and in the dream the deed" 071007 ... epitome of incomprehensibility I don't really understand my own. Or how I can theorize how best to act and then not act that way. An overexamined life isn't worth living, said Socrates' twin Pythagoras. And then turned himself into a triangle. 210112 ... unhinged what good is it if you can no longer speak, walk, sit, stand, eat, drink? he was trying to roll over in the bed but is too weak now to even lift his own body. his speech is gone so he was just moaning. i prepared a syringe of liquid pain meds and let him know what it was and that everyone else was asleep. his eyes looked towards my voice but i don't think he can see me anymore. i asked him to open his mouth and he did so i emptied the syringe into his mouth and he fell back asleep i did not want something like this to be the last memories of my father but the universe gave us no other choice fuck cancer 210116 ... unhinged just a few hours later the nurse came and gave him his morphine cause none of us could bear to do it and within twenty minutes his life had left his body even when she came back two hours later and officially proclaimed him dead part of me did not want to believe he was gone six_momths_later. part of me still does not want to believe he is gone maybe because i can still hear him, his voice so strong it reaches past the grave but i know the body is gone i glance at the urn of it's ashes at least once per day to remind myself but his voice his dadisms still echo in my mind 210803 what's it to you? who go blather from