trompe_le_coeur birdmad paintbrush illusion coreograph every stroke build a better lie delicate as the filigree on a fabergé egg i'll walk right into this wall, believing it to be a way out 010617 ... madness all hindsight no foresight? 010815 ... guitar_freak These Megadeth lyrics keep running through my head... "Living alone, can't stand this place It's four in the morning and I still see your face" What do I say...what should I do? FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK 041002 ... guitar_freak from the first time i saw you i believed with my whole soul that i would marry you. i was instantly filled with pure love and it is still there. of course, i don't think it will ever go away, but thank god there is enough love in the world to not have it all placed on one person. what shocks me the most is that no matter how stomped on my heart feels, it still beats. this is frustrating. because I want to be 100% over you, but I'm not and I don't know when I will be. I worry about you because I haven't heard any confidence inspiring news, but I sure as hell don't want to talk to you either. too painful. I guess my most sincere wish for you is what I wish for myself- that you have a happy, wonderful life and that all of your dreams come true. for me, my deam is to share everything with one special person and you are not him. that was a shocking realization for me and I'm still trying to figure out what it all means, but i know that I'm right. i am for someone else and you are too. It's time to move on, body AND soul. 050717 ... unhinged . 050717 what's it to you? who go blather from