remembering_ jane i lay naked, my breasts against her sheets, head turned, watching her as she rubs peppermint oil slowly between her palms. she leans over to me, cups her hands beneath my nose, and whispers "inhale, deeply..." 120820 ... j (((her name reminds me of my favorite klimt, the circular gold, the fingers curling pink, stained lips, eyes closed, exhale...))) 120820 ... trying to remember i_deserve_this. i_have_waited_for_this. how_to_make_love_stay ? do_not_chase_love_away 120820 ... jane it's all happening. just trying to remember how to breathe, these days. the teeny tiny pills help. 120821 ... jane bathed in the red light of the bar the other night, we crossed our legs over each other under the table at the booth. she furrowed her brow over an old friend, i tried to give her advice and was pleased when she finally announced, "i'm just going to say what i want to say." she deserves to feel better about herself. i wrote her a haiku. several, actually, but this is the one i tore out of the page and handed to her: how can she not know? extraordinary people should know who they are. 120905 ... jane in retrospect, this sounds judgmental. hell, i don't know if i know who i am (confusing sentence; bear with me). i just mean... how can she not know that she *is* extraordinary? that her eyes make my soul sing? the way they twinkle when she's saying something clever...she needs to know. she deserves to have some semblance of a concept. perhaps some years will pass, and she will be able to peek behind the curtain. i'm happy to just be near. i can still smell her on my skin. 120905 what's it to you? who go blather from