lapse raze it's been five years since i've scrawled a word on the walls of a cracked cafe that once meant so much to me. each spin around the sun, when it comes time to pay the rent, i think about letting it lapse. my online outpost is a beaten, bloodied thing, with no breath left in its body. even when i had the means to keep it fed, i never wrote with the freedom i found on these_red_pages. strange that i'd feel more myself in a place that's shared than i would in one that's mine alone. maybe keeping the corpse on ice serves as a useful reminder of who i used to be. maybe one day what's dead will learn to live again. i know it won't happen while i'm burdened by the borrowed building i call home, with its sagging ceilings and unwed windows. nothing good grows there anymore. and still, i till the soil and salt the earth with every seed that's soured in the hothouse of my soul. 260528 what's it to you? who go blather from