breakthrough Risen I had a breakthrough sign my "bereavement" counsellor today. It was really weird, to connect the dots in your brain, your life. I realised that my inability to fathom who my father was, my brain's hatred of the unsolved puzzle, the way I can neither define the man nor our relationship means that I am over compensating in my other relationships. Over analysing others, and my relationships with them, trying to sort and catagorise them simply because I cannot do so with my father. What an awful thing - that a dead man can affect my relationships with the living. What an awful thing - that I allowed that to happen. 130411 ... Lovers Lament "What an awful thing - that a dead man can affect my relationships with the living. What an awful thing - that I allowed that to happen." This, so beautifully stated, worded so much better and without all the lengthy crap I would have put in between... it really hit me hard. I did the same thing. I let a dead man take away my want to live, my will to be a good person, and I realized too late, he was the reason why I pushed very good people out of my life with my actions. The swear sometimes I think the dead affect us more than the living. 130411 ... unhinged shambhala_training 'sometimes the kindest thing we can do is refrain' 130411 ... unhinged (sometimes refraining seems more like avoiding which seems more like a copout) 130411 what's it to you? who go blather from