aestivate raze a group of about a dozen of us were sitting cross-legged on the grass of an anonymous park, holding hands in a circle. someone poured a spoonful or two of grape cough syrup into one person's mouth, & they began a pass-it-on chain, transferring the saccharine purple liquid from mouth to mouth. when my turn came, i accepted before leaning a bit to the side & ridding myself of the stuff in a messy purple stream. "sorry; i was choking on my saliva," i offered by way of false explanation. i saw now that the person who held the cough syrup was a woman. she seemed matronly in a vaguely sinister way, in spite of her apparent youth. she walked over to me, smiling, & proceeded to force the entire bottle of "medicine" down my throat. 050731 ... raze a girl with blond hair pulled back tightly against her head was trying to suck the food out of a strange, elaborately-constructed birdhouse/feeder hybrid. 050803 ... raze love is not a choice you make it's a promise you break it's a built-in lie i'll explain sometime 050806 ... raze we will burst into flames some enchanted early evening celebrate all we have lost all that we have yet to lose 050818 ... raze i shot the evil maid between the eyes she wrestled open the bathroom door while we were trying to hide 050820 ... raze this town this dead city knows me well as well as i let it 050824 ... raze death was a choir singing just for me if words are my poison sound is the sedative 050829 ... raze i've been having the strangest dreams. beautiful, though. so many images. so many ideas. so many faces i've never seen that somehow look familiar. where to keep them all? 050906 what's it to you? who go blather from