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a_gift_you_give_yourself
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raze
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everyone should have an area of their life that's immune to compromise. a place that's theirs alone, untouched by the whims of anyone else. not an escape, but a way back. not a secret, but a gift you give yourself for living.
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130407
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... |
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unhinged
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the way i love
i will not compromise
if i am too intense
too serious
too 'natural'
too human
you can go somewhere else
and find someone
more vapid
more flippant
more plastic
more robotic
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130408
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... |
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unhinged
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i take myself out for good food all the time. if i won't do it, no one else will.
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130408
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... |
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kerry
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an afternoon on the couch with a book, productivity be damned
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221003
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... |
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ovenbird
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What raze wrote back in 2013 brought me to a complete halt. Did I ever have that? A place in my life “immune to compromise”? A room of my own? Could I identify a part of my life that fits that criteria now? It broke me a little to see how hard it was to come up with an answer. It seems, for the most part, that nothing has ever belonged to me, not fully. Especially in the last sixteen years in which I have been growing lives in my body and being a mother to the ones that found the will to live. What do I give myself that’s a gift for the act of living? I think the closest I come to such a thing is this very place. I give myself this act of daily devotion, this process of witness, this opportunity for reflection. It has come to feel essential. This is what I am giving myself–in the middle of my life, in a moment when everything feels turbulent, at a time when it’s hard to reclaim my sense of self–I am giving myself this one sovereign place. I will hack the time out of even the most unforgiving day, because to do otherwise feels like surrendering to a world that wants to eat me. This has been the most unexpected way back to something inside myself that feels true. Perhaps there have been other roads, but I can’t recall them now, or they became so overgrown that I can’t find them anymore. I should have tended to them more carefully. I plan to tend to this one.
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260529
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what's it to you?
who
go
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blather
from
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