40s nr sometimes i don't feel my age because people don't understand my life place being the age i am. i am trying to understand and create distance between myself and their lack of understanding, because what do they know? but society has been around a lot longer than me. 260318 ... raze when i was young, or at least younger than i am now, whenever someone would ask me where i saw myself in the future — five years down the road, or ten, or even just one — i would tell them i had no idea. i wondered what i would look like as i aged. i tried to imagine what shape my movie might take and who i hoped to be. all i saw was a book filled with blank pages. i don't think any of my best guesses would have begun to resemble where i am now. anyone basing their opinions on a conventional idea of success (whatever that even is) would consider me an abject failure. i know nothing about my life makes much sense to someone on the outside of it. but as difficult as these_days have been, one thing they're not lacking is meaning. depleted and diminished as i am, i'll take that deal. 260318 what's it to you? who go blather from