the_parishioner tender_square “i decided to check out that church on fifth before i came to get you,” he said. “oh! how was it?” she was somewhat disoriented after her session but trying to be upbeat. she told her therapist she thought her husband was moving, slowly but surely, towards creating the outlets in his life that were important to him. “i couldn’t just walk right in and look around, the door was locked. there was a buzzer, but i didn’t want to ring it and interrupt someone’s workday.” “don’t they, like, live for this stuff? isn’t it their wet dream to have someone come to their door and say, ‘hi, i’m considering becoming a parishioner’?” “whoa, whoa, whoa. nobody said that.” “what do you mean?” “i’m just checking out the church; i said nothing about making a commitment to go there.” “that’s why i used the word ‘considering.’” “yeah, but a parishioner is someone who is part of the community, who attends service with regularity.” “that’s what you described doing if you liked their services, if you connected with their vibe. i don’t think a parishioner has to be someone who attends church every single week.” “no. i don’t want to be a parishioner.” “so, what you’re saying is, ‘hi, tell me about your church. i am thinking about being a part of it, but not as a parishioner. i don’t want to be accepted by the community here, i’d rather exist on the fringes of it, doing my own thing’?” “well, not that,” he smiled. “it’s just something that i want to do on occasion.” she felt they were splitting hairs, but didn’t press it. she’d mentioned that she didn’t want to make a big deal out of his small steps; she didn’t want him to feel pressured by her enthusiasm. “wasn’t it during your mom’s memorial service that her pastor said ‘when leigh ann came in to meet me, i realized she was interviewing me,’ that she was determining if his congregation and his style of worship was right for her?” “i was just thinking about that the other day. she was certainly onto something.” she laughed. “i could totally see you doing that with this church.” “i think that would be worthwhile.” “oh my god, you are so your mother’s son!” “i know.” 220222 what's it to you? who go blather from