i_can't_shake_this amy adaptability the motivation for it is fear. i'm not sure, if it's true, what would be wrong with that, though. i know about myself: i won't. i'm a stopper and a turnerarounder and a hey fuck off ya scavenger -er. but i also don't think i'm convinced that i deserve anything at all. if i had things to defend i'd undoubtedly think differently. i have something to lose, sure, and i've already lost it! it might be true, i might be under the impression, far older than this life, that i deserve more than is normally distributed, in the normal ways. i know that if i do the wrong thing, my mind will quickly destroy the direction and put me to zero again. a misstep is less tolerable than a re-start. test and scrutinize the gold of tibet and its futures before tempering, insisting it's something worth owning and wearing. even tibetans highly suggest it. caution. it's indisputably not worth it. it is a region. it was one. it is. i was so haunted! there was an arrow in the hills that pointed in the direction of a baptism by water and it's state of being locked away from me -ism. i go towards things. i do my best, i have to. i meet only myself in the middle of the ocean. 121224 ... amy adaptability don't worry. i probably won't. i won't! not because i don't want to, though. not because it doesn't, again, want a confrontation. it's continuous. yes it does. it always wants a confrontation! i can't care. 121224 ... unhinged the narcotic rush of falling for you tempered by the underlying feeling that i_know_that_we_could_be_so_happy_baby 121224 what's it to you? who go blather from