contrived kendera i'm not safe at blather, blue of course, but red too. i didn't really tell anyone i actually knew about it. they just sort of found it through me. last year, and still, it has been a deep burden, and humiliation. no one can estimate the damage of only a few hasty judgemental clicks. i am not free here. i am not even free to write at my joke of a diary. i didn't expect to have to become this fake identity. it is all to forced and contrived. i don't write what i want to write about. the view is dark and hollow from the stage, but i know it is full of people who are laughing at me. this wasn't supposed to be a comedy..... 010804 ... unhinged if they ever find me here if he ever has another judgement to make i will kill myself this is the only place i have left and he said that neither of us would ever change and i know he was right if he found me here i would have nowhere to go 010804 ... unhinged point_of_reference trying to talk about it feels inadequate 120123 what's it to you? who go blather from