catastrophizing nr a special, shitty kind of anxiety that constantly struggling to meet high expectations and being hard on oneself can only make worse. 211101 ... unhinged is an old pro 211102 ... tender_square has brushes with this too 211102 ... raze has also worn these clothes 211102 ... nr "you'd be able to handle it even if a bad thing happened," he said. "how do you know?" i said. "because you have for your entire life." 221115 ... nr hello and fuck off, old enemy. 240422 ... FauxGrr I thoroughly believe if I remain here I will be Unalived By a mob With pitchforks Burned at the stake For bring me I am nothing but me. But others call me things Avoid me Dislike me for my choices Even though I rarely choose. I have become comfortably Uncomfortable In a hostile environment. 250211 ... nr you can't even get sick anymore without worrying about affecting others. you need to sleep and take care of yourself because you have a shitty cold, but your brain is too busy worrying about what would happen if you accidentally saw people you care about before you were healthy, and what if the virus turned out to be covid, and what if you accidentally passed it on on to your baby nephew, and what if it landed him in the ICU, and then blah blah blah. it's always the worst when you're worried even the 1% chance of harming others. 251101 ... nr *worried about 251101 ... ovenbird I can relate, nr. Catastrophizing is one of my special skills. I can take the most innocuous situation and catastrophize the hell out of it. When I last had my in-laws babysit my dog while I was away I made them send me updates because I was imagining a thousand ways they might lose him or otherwise not return him to me alive. They thought I was completely insane but, to their credit, humoured me with proof of life pictures three times a day. 251102 ... nr that's an interesting example you gave, ovenbird; i do that exact thing but from the pet-sitter's perspective. it was a long time before would agree to cat-sit my cat-nephew again because i would be so anxious about it. what if i accidentally let him out and he doesn't come back? what if i leave something out that he can't eat and he eats it? what if what if what if? logically i know these things won't happen because i've owned cats before and i know how resilient they are, AND i know this cat very well. but logic doesn't play much of a role sometimes. this type of anxiety loves acting up when it's something/someone you love. 251103 ... nrr ... i can't seem to blather lately without making at least one typo. at least i'm consistent. 251103 ... e_o_i Sometimes I'll do this. Sometimes I'll be brave. Sometimes I'll be brave but also do this. (nr, I hope you feel better soon!) 251103 ... epitome of incomprehensibility (By "this" I meant catastrophizing, not making typos, but I do that too! And I forgot to be epitome of incomprehensibility first.) 251103 what's it to you? who go blather from