archive
raze
from
out
of
the
morass
of
his
basement
he
dug
an
old
videotape.
though
it's
flecked
with
fungus
from
years
of
being
buried
somewhere
cool
and
damp
,
i'm
pretty
sure
it's
home
to
footage
of
me
in
a
k
-hole fifteen
years
ago
,
face
caked
in
makeup
,
the
link
between
mind
and
body
broken
.
i
do
and
don't
want
to
see
that
again
.
170403
...
voyeur
would
you
prefer
someone
else
to
watch
?
170411
...
raze
probably
not
,
unless
they
were
a
stranger
.
it
wasn't
one
of
my
finer
moments
.
but
i
have
it
on
good
authority
that
no
one
has
ever
seen
that
tape
.
it's
a
bit
of
a
surprise
it
still
exists,
given
the
habit
time
has
of
shuffling
and
misplacing
and
destroying
the
impermanent
things
.
170411
...
raze
he
made
me
a
copy.
it's
not
quite
as
bad
as
i
remember
,
though
still
strange
to
see
again
after
all
this
time
.
one
minute
i'm
surprisingly
lucid
,
unpacking
a
funny
comment
someone
made
about
my
eye
shadow
earlier
in
the
night
and
laughing
about
it
.
then
my
eyes
are
rolling
back
in
my
head
and
it
looks
like
i'm
having
a
seizure.
not
one
of
my
finer
moments
,
to
be
sure
.
170826
what's it to you?
who
go
blather
from
