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epitome of incomprehensibility
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The question is whether Andrew Jackson did or did not like Level 5, the one with the castle on the cloud. Not the one with the parking garage, or the spaceship, or the one where you have to make grass grow by getting your elf minions to stare at it. No, Level 5: the Castle on the Cloud Level.
It strikes me as odd that Andrew Jackson never mentioned the game once during his presidential term. He made a brief reference to skill jumping in one Thanksgiving speech, but skill jumping is a common hack and would work equally well on other platforms. Platforms are like clouds; would Andrew Jackson have trusted a cloud in real life? The man fought bears, yet he never drank alcoholic beverages in an opaque cup, much less in a castle! Even a translucent beer mug was suspicious, and the mere mention of frosted glass confounded his peripatetic pate. As Confucius said, when froth looks too much like clouds, the beards of wise men grow filmy.
Of course, we've misquoted Confucius enough. His name sounds more like Kung Fu than we're willing to admit. If he could have fought bears with Andrew Jackson, some blurring of the beards of Chinese sages would be irrevocable. For example, did Confucius say, "It's not what your country can do for threescore and misunderestimating" or "All we have to fear is fear I did not have sexual intercourse with a transparent gate?"
It's a commonplace among 19th-century translators, but "transparent gate" is not "water gate" as some Orientalists once believed. Why would the author be that transparent? Furthermore, who builds a water gate around a castle on a cloud? I swear, architects these days have no hope. Not the kind of hope that demolishes mountains. Not the kind of hope that ambushes you in parking garages and beeps at you until you die of low energy. It might be, if I am right about this nation, the kind of hope that kills gravity and brings it back to life as an elf stare. (Solemn pause.) God bless America.
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