accident_prone bijou what's the furthest place from here it hasn't been my day for a couple years what's a couple more what's the closest you can come to an almost total wreck and walk away all limbs intact? a near miss or a close call? i keep a room at the hospital. i scratch my accidents into the wall. i couldn't wait to breathe your breath cut in line i bled to death i got to you, there was nothing left what's the meanest you can be to the one you claim to love and still smile to your new found friends? jawbreaker 011212 ... bijou and in the same confusing breath you pull away and draw me in. i wanted you. you wanted more. i built this life and now it's mine. 020325 ... raze i would like to stop causing pain to the parts of me that are not to blame 240605 ... ovenbird After I fell down five concrete stairs and smashed my tailbone so hard that my body couldn’t remember how to stand, your roommate emerged from the house to find me twisted in pain on the cold ground. He took one look at my panicked face and called back into the house: “Hey M! Your girlfriend fell!” I watched him shy away from the miasma of my agony. He did not want my pain to be his problem. It’s a story that’s been told to me over and over, one in which I’m meant to be a stoic and independent heroine who would never bother anyone with something as inconvenient as a feeling. When I was drowning in the raging floodwaters of motherhood, and I felt like my babies had turned me into a wavering translucence, and all your attention was focused on these souls you asked my body to bear, so that I couldn’t be certain you saw me at all, I came to you in my grief and said, “Who will be my champion now? Who will support my growth into whatever it is I’m meant to be?” And you said, “You’ll have to do that for yourself now.” I had never felt so alone. And when it was clear no one was coming to hoist me from the place I’d fallen I stood on all my broken bones and made them bear the weight of my becoming. 251226 what's it to you? who go blather from