losing Bespeckled I hope I'm not slowly and unknowingly slipping away from myself. 050101 ... no reason i can't get it out of my head 080214 ... unhinged even he doesn't make me happy anymore because i'm not good enough hot enough whatever enough for him to want that way she came into the store looking for him calling him again so he left me last night at the bar, alone and i had the one last drink that pushed me over the edge, alone losing once again at games_that_play_themselves_out 080215 ... unhinged (it's a really cool bar around the corner from my house. right after he left, an older hispanic guy named enrique and his sweetheart leslie came in. enrique is up on the politics so as soon as he walked in a presidential debate got started. i don't remember what i said but he looked at me and said 'you're a cynic aren't you?' 'well, i'm alone on valentine's day. of course i'm a cynic.' and maybe i shouldn't fall for that crap, but eh. i feel pulled under, dragged around, spit on and left for dead anyways. and then i truly literally get left. and i feel pulled apart on top of all that. like i just want to cut open and pull it all out so that i'm truly empty.) 080215 what's it to you? who go blather from