changed belly fire Chameleon. Though you never change, you are never the same. It scared you when someone finally saw you for what you are. 090906 ... unhinged we both are not the same people we were three years ago; you seem sadder now. 090906 ... Risen I can still remember the moments when everything changed. Three of them. The moment I went too far and she freaked out, the first time she snapped at me, then the moment I heard the news. I think those three moments changed it all. The last one most of all. Because I couldn't not worry about it. I couldn't sit back and not think about her getting married. Finding out in 11 days if she will be married. So I started to shield my heart. I had moments where I pushed her away. It all started going downhill. Which is, I guess, a good thing overall. I have trained myself to imagine her wedding, not ours, when I hear that song. I have reined in my heart, disciplined it, silenced it. Battened down the hatches. Prepared as best I can. Now the news will sting, but not hurt. And all is right in the world again . 130415 what's it to you? who go blather from