where_am_i tilt really - where am i? im_lost - find_me 060106 ... kerry in a bed, under a quilt, in a yellow brick rowhome, a frail tree out front tickling the windowpanes as it resists the wind and also in that liminal space between asleep and awake--coughing, wondering why i am coughing so much and telling myself i've been watching too much "breaking bad" and i don't have lung cancer like walt (or like mary-ellen who never smoked a day in her life, whose name i wrote on a post-it a taped to a light switch when i was finally quitting) as i slide back into sleep my mom says "you've been taking too many of those all-natural sleeping pills. you know they cause cancer." (which is silly but in this foggy state i wonder, what if she's right?) and i realize you've walked into my dreams again, smiling this time, and at first i resist, but then i decide to let you stay because what's the harm? this is the only way i will ever talk to you again. 220429 what's it to you? who go blather from